Trust

I heard someone say, “I don’t care what you do, just be honest about it.” I wish everyone could be honest, truthful, sincere, candid, and straightforward. But we afraid to do that, it so much easier to lie, tell half-truths.

I once loved a man who cheated on me. He was the first man I decided to love without conditions. The only person I love unconditionally is my child. It’s difficult for adults to do, it’s hard for folks to be intimate, to ask the brave questions and hear the bold answers.

At the end of our relationship, he said he was sorry and he was wrong. I agreed. He should have come to me and said, I like someone else. I want to spend time with this person. Yet, I still love you and don’t want to loose you. I might have agreed to this. We are all capable of loving more than one person at the same time. However, he never gave me the chance to decide my life, my future.

If we were truly intimate with one another, there would be less breakups, less broken homes, less conflict at work. If we just kept it open and real. Like Jessep said in A Few Good Men: “You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls.” Breaking down walls and opening up is theraputic, it’s a true high, it’s the bomb. Like Alicia Keys sangs in “Unthinkable”; I’m gonna sit right here and tell you all that comes to me.” Try it, your relationships will be golden.

Peace & Love

Domestic Abuse

If your boyfriend, lover, significant other, husband hits you once, he will hit you again. If he verbally assaults you, he will do it again. He has been officially identified as a Punk-Bitch and is no longer a man, protector or provider.

Black women experience domestic abuse 35% higher than white women. Like the Dixie Chicks sang in Goodbye Earl, “She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses”. We also hide it; we don’t want our men locked up. We think we can make him better. SNAP OUT OF IT.

Black women are more likely to be killed by their current boyfriend, lover, significant other, or husband. Yet you will not see us on CNN or any other network or our story made into a Lifetime Movie ala Stacey Petersen.

Don’t end up in intensive care, a chalk outline or worse yet, with a 20 to life sentence. In case you suffer any type of abuse at the hands of a Punk-Bitch, your mission is to first get your belongings and exit stage left; call the police; tell your male relatives and/or friends; and never ever go back. The play is over. No one should be a punching bag. Don’t accept the apology, you already know he is sorry. Don’t accept the roses or the “I’ll never do it again”. The Punk-Bitch has been revealed leave him a box of tampons.

Peace & Love

Loss

I just watched Imitation of Life, the 1959 version. As usual I cried like a baby at the end. For those that don’t know this movie, it’s worth renting. It’s about a white woman and her daughter who take in a black woman and her light skinned daughter. The black daughter rejects her mom, cause she wants to be white and decides to pass. Long story short, the black woman dies and the daughter, Sara Jane, runs up to the casket and shows out! Sara Jane screams and cries “Momma, Oh Momma, I’m sorry momma!”

It’s a life lesson. When my grandfather and father made their transitions, I didn’t cry at their funeral. I cried when I found out my Pop had left us. I cried at my dad’s hospital bed when he died. I didn’t shed a tear at the funeral. I knew that I had done all I could for the men in my life. While they lived, we shared good and bad times. When they became sick, I was there to help take care of them, run errands; make their final days comfortable.

Stevie Wonder sang in These Three Words, “When was the last time that they heard you say, mother or father, I love you, and when was the last time that they heard you say daughter or son, I love you.”

It’s important to give your loved ones, all the love they can stand while they are able to appreciate it. Be there, call them, kiss them goodbye and always, always tell them how much you love them.

Peace & Love

Texas and History 101

Texas, Our Texas! All hail the mighty State! O Empire wide and glorious, you stand supremely blest”… This is the Texas state song. Texas has decided to push its conservative views on textbooks that will change the term “slave trade” to the “Atlantic triangular trade”. What??!! Ladies and gentlemen, these textbooks will be dispersed throughout the United States. Like Fleetwood Mac sang; “Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies, oh, no, no you can’t disguise.”

In my humble opinion, this is what is wrong with the United States of America. Be honest with your history. If you took people from their land and made them slaves, say so. If you raped and murdered the natives of the land you “discovered”, admit it and move on. If you stole and fought for land that Mexicans had until the mid 1800s, you can expect for future generations of Mexicans to not like you, hate you even. Admit your wrong, and call it what it really was, there were slave owners and slaves, spoilers of war, murderers, bible carrying swindlers, robbers of land, and yes, there were some good people. Don’t sugar coat a damn thing. That’s history.

Peace & Love

Oil and Water

The BP Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico will upset the ecosystem and touch our lives immensely. I heard on the TV a couple of days ago that the Exxon Valdez spilled 11 million gallons in 1989. The BP spill is pumping 5,000 barrels of oil a day.

On January 23^rd there was an oil spill in Port Author, Texas. This spill was 450,000 gallons in the port, which flows into the Gulf of Mexico.

Fishermen are out of work, fish are dying, wetlands are destroyed and folks still want to gas up the SUV. In the meantime BP, Halliburton and Transocean point the finger at each other. Oddly enough, I don’t here Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, or any other “Drill Baby Drill” person saying anything.

I read an article that said the sample that EPA took on May 4, did not indicate an “increased risk to aquatic life”. Really!!??

Like Marvin Gaye sang in 1971, in Mercy Mercy Me; “Oil wasted on the oceans and upon our seas fish full of mercury, mercy mercy me, things ain’t what they used to be”.

Peace & Love

Love and Marriage

Ladies if you are married, you need to keep your husband happy, just like you kept him happy while you were dating and working to get that carat. You maintained your dime piece status. Hair, nails, waxing, workouts, slamming outfits, and hot home cooked meals. You even laughed at his silly jokes, listen to how his day was, called to just say hello, watched sports without interrupting him and like Jill said you “felt like cayenne pepper, red, hot, spicy”. Now that he has put a “ring on it”, you’re treating him like y’all first cousins. What happened? You go to bed with rollers in your hair and flannel pajamas on, no more Vicki secrets for him. No workouts, feet feeling like Brillo pads.

Marriage means you get freakier. If your man comes home from a hard days work, trust, he is tired, he don’t want to hear your yapping and complaining when he walks in the door. If he wants some loving while you cooking, put that meal on simmer and get to getting. Make him a priority. I know you are saying, I work too, I have to take care of the kids, cook, clean, blah, blah, blah. You were doing that when you were dating; and you can get him to help with the kids and house. After you ride him like a wild buck, tell him to help the kids with the homework while you finish dinner. Oh, he is all over it.

Like Betty Wright said, “The clean up woman will wipe his blues away, she’ll give him penny lovin’ 24 hours a day.” Don’t let this happen to you. Don’t let the clean up woman in your house. Get on your game and keep your man satisfied in and out of the bedroom.

I’m divorced, but trust, it wasn’t because the loving was bad! Ask him….

Peace & Love

Tattoos

I’ve got two, one on my left arm and the other on my back just over my right shoulder. I decided to get my first tattoo after my breakup with my live-in mate. I was 31 and I was feeling down, low, miserable and felt like I wanted to do something daring, unexpected. I was tired of playing it safe, of being the “good” girl. I always felt a tattoo was a sign of a rebellious person. When I was young you only saw men with tattoos, they were in the military or spent time in prison. You rarely saw women with tattoos and if you did, they were hard, loose women.

So I decided on a small tattoo of the number 8. I study numerology and my lifecycle number is eight (add the year you were born, plus the month, plus the day; add all the numbers together to get a single digit. 1+9+6+2+9+8=35; 3+5=8). The number eight means power and sacrifice, I felt I had sacrificed enough. It was time for me to get comfortable in my power. My second tattoo is “Kay2”. My daughter and I decided to get matching tattoos for Christmas. It sounds real ghetto, but it’s something we will always share. It was her idea and her first tattoo. She said it symbolized we will always have each other’s back. (Cue the music!)

I guess you are saying, what’s your point? My point is ladies should be careful when getting tattoos. Ladies, be mindful of the placement, what it is, and the message you convey with your tattoo. One, please don’t get a man’s name tattooed on your body. Boo will probably move on before the tat heals. Two, don’t get a tat on your tit. They will not stay perky forever. That red rose will look like a hanging vine by the time your 35. Three, please don’t get a "tramp stamp", and catch an attitude when someone “holla” at you. What I’m saying is a tat is permanent, and the way you are thinking at 20 will surely change at 40. Think about your future husband, in-laws, children and grandchildren. Think about your future CEO position and how you will be perceived with a bible scripture on your neck! As Aretha Franklin sang, “I ain’t no psychiatrist, I ain’t no doctor with degrees…. You better think.” Think long and hard about that tattoo.

Peace & Love